Jobless

Well, I'm professionally unemployed now. I had a second day of work at Arby's. This time I was working the drive thru window. It was going well until the lunch rush (surprise, surprise). Again I was already nervous and doing my best to go fast, but then my manager kept telling me to hurry up, which just made me more flustered and I kept making mistakes, which made him more frustrated with me.

So, the third day I went in, he asked me how I was doing. I said 'pretty good', which is the reply I usually give. He, unfortunately wanted me to elaborate on that. The day before he'd also asked how he could help me not be so nervous, so I told him that he could try not to rush me so much. He basically said that it wasn't gonna happen that way. He had me in tears not fifteen minutes after getting to work. I ended up leaving. When I got home I cried for a while, called my mom (she was pissed at the guy), called another friend, cried some more....you get the picture.

My manager called me later that day to see how things were going and he had me in tears within about five minutes. It's was mutually agreed that Arby's might not be the best place for me right now.

Now I'm looking for a job again. I have an interview at Panera Bread on Wednesday and got a call back from SuperAmerica that I need to return. I'm not really looking forward to either prospect after this whole Arby's fiasco. I was having a lot of anxiety related to that job, but now that I don't have it anymore, I'm having really bad generalized anxiety. I hate feeling this way. Because of it, the desire to go to the bar is stronger than before. Because like it or not, drinking dulls, if not totally removes, the anxiety...at least for a little while. But, I'm trying to trust God and not resort to my own solutions.

Well, that's it for now, folks.

dreamer