Okay, so it's been almost a month since I last posted. I guess the car accident threw me for more of a loop than I realized. I've been really lax about staying in touch with people. I've been meaning to get together with a really good friend of mine, but every time he calls I'm in the middle of getting ready for work or actually being at work and I haven't called him back yet. He's called like four times in the past week. I totally suck!
Anyway, I'm moving again. This time it's to Lauderdale, MN. It's by the State Fair grounds. I'm gonna be sharing a room with the coolest woman on earth and our other roommate seems like she'll be pretty cool, too. She's good friends with the girl I'm sharing the room with. Even though I'm really excited about moving, it's still kinda scary. I kinda know the general area, but not at all compared with South Minneapolis. I'll also be taking two totally new busses to get to work. That's a little nerve wracking. But, it'll be good I think.
On a different note, I'm so tired of working. Well, not totally tired, but it's irritating that I have to interrupt a good day of relaxing and doing nothing to go to work. I mean, I know I gotta eat and pay rent and all, but c'mon! My co-workers are pretty cool, though. Also, work is never that dull. The other day (I wasn't working), my co-worker David had to close two hoursearly cuz two guys were brawling in the store. I work at Super America and, for those who aren't familiar with it, we have what's called a fountain drink machine. It's basically a pop machine like they have at McDonalds and Subway and such. Anyway, one guy was bashing the other guy's head into it. According to David there was blood all over it. Now, that's not a typical day by any means, but it is rare that we get a day where nothing happens. Usually it's just drunks getting rude and ornery or people getting pissed off at us for some reason or other and cussing us out. So...um...yeah.
Anyway, I'm finally working noon to 8pm. Hopefully there'll be no more 4pm to midnight shifts for me. I despise that shift. That's when people are the most ornery. I'm also really, really glad that I have the day off tomorrow. Granted, I can't sleep in cuz I have to be at the chiropractor at 10am, but I can always take a nap in the afternoon.
I found out that insurance will cover chiropractic appointments for a while. Amber has been going to the chiropractor since she was like 8 years old and so, since the accident, we've been going together. The guy's name is Kelly and he's one of my new best friends. :) I feel so great afterwards! I love it! Since going, I've only had like one headache. I felt one coming on last night, but it went away before it got really bad. Plus, I think it was just because I hadn't eaten since breakfast. The first time we went to see Kelly, he took x-rays of us both to see how much work had to be done. There's a certain way one's neck is supposed to curve......my neck was curved in the opposite direction. Yikes!
Well, that's all for now, folks. I gotta go eat breakfast and think about starting to get ready for work in a little bit. I'll try to be better about posting, but we'll see how that goes since I won't have a computer with internet for a while at the place I'm moving.
dreamer
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Major post
So I realize it's been almost a month since I last posted. I'm still working at Super America albeit not for the next few days.
I was in a bad car accident this morning. My roommate Amber picked me up from work at about 12:20 am and we gave my coworker, David, a ride home. After that we were headed to the grocery store. We were at 31st and Park when we were T-boned. Amber had accidently ran the red light, but the guy that hit us was drunk. We were going about 38 mph in a 35 zone and he was going much faster than us. Amber's car was totalled.
She fractured her collarbone on the seatbelt, but otherwise was relatively unhurt. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt *insert sheepish look here* and so I cracked the windshield with my head (ironically, the windshield was the only thing cracked; my head wasn't). I also hurt my left forearm and my left hip. Other than that, my neck and shoulders are really sore and tight and my left shoulder is tender. I still have a knot on my forehead and the top of my head is sore, too.
So anyways, Amber and I were taken to HCMC by ambulance. We got there at about 1:15 and were released at 3:15...shortest ER stay I've ever seen. We were both x-rayed and given pain killers. Her arm is in a sling, but I don't really have any outward signs of injury (other than the grimace of pain on my face whenever I have to move). I was given a prescription for both Vicodin and Ibuprofen so that should help with most of the pain. I also have doctor's permission to be out of work for a couple days, but I think I'm gonna go see my doc and try to be out recouperating for the rest of the week.
Amber and I need a lot of prayer. We appreciate it greatly.
dreamer
I was in a bad car accident this morning. My roommate Amber picked me up from work at about 12:20 am and we gave my coworker, David, a ride home. After that we were headed to the grocery store. We were at 31st and Park when we were T-boned. Amber had accidently ran the red light, but the guy that hit us was drunk. We were going about 38 mph in a 35 zone and he was going much faster than us. Amber's car was totalled.
She fractured her collarbone on the seatbelt, but otherwise was relatively unhurt. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt *insert sheepish look here* and so I cracked the windshield with my head (ironically, the windshield was the only thing cracked; my head wasn't). I also hurt my left forearm and my left hip. Other than that, my neck and shoulders are really sore and tight and my left shoulder is tender. I still have a knot on my forehead and the top of my head is sore, too.
So anyways, Amber and I were taken to HCMC by ambulance. We got there at about 1:15 and were released at 3:15...shortest ER stay I've ever seen. We were both x-rayed and given pain killers. Her arm is in a sling, but I don't really have any outward signs of injury (other than the grimace of pain on my face whenever I have to move). I was given a prescription for both Vicodin and Ibuprofen so that should help with most of the pain. I also have doctor's permission to be out of work for a couple days, but I think I'm gonna go see my doc and try to be out recouperating for the rest of the week.
Amber and I need a lot of prayer. We appreciate it greatly.
dreamer
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Spiritual attack??
Okay, so for the past month or so I've been having a lot of anxiety. First, it was due to my job. The job lasted for three days, but I still had a lot of generalized anxiety. I talked to my doctor and he increased the dosage of one of my medications that's supposed to help with anxiety. It helped a little, but not much and not for long.
I mentioned my recent job at Super America. The first two days of training I was a little nervous, but it wasn't too bad. The third day of training, I started crying in the car when my mom dropped me off cuz I was so anxious. But, I went in and worked anyway. But then what was to be my second day of working at the location on 25th and Bloomington was a totally different story. By mid morning I was starting to feel really anxious and was crying. I prayed and prayed and it didn't seem to get any better. I was talking with my roommate and that wasn't helping any. I tried calling people and nobody answered their phones. I decided to call work and let them know I couldn't be there. However, I was in such a state that my roommate had to call for me. I was sobbing and starting to hyperventilate. It was not a pretty sight, let me tell you.
By the afternoon I was so frustrated with this anxiety that I was honestly thinking of suicide. I had left a message for a friend of mine that goes to my mom's church so she called back and we talked for a bit. She agreed that some of the anxiety could be due to all the changes that have been happening (moving twice, new job, being independent and away from my mom), but that I've also been taking huge steps towards growth in my walk with God (Celebrate Recovery, living with Christian women, regular devotions, being open about my struggles) and that Satan doesn't like that and will do everything he can to hinder that growth. I also had called my pastor earlier, but he wasn't home so I left a message. He called back and I told him that I was considering suicide and the option to not have to deal with this anxiety day in and day out and it being so bad that I couldn't function. He lovingly explained that suicide is an option that I should just banish from my mind. He also said that lots of people have to deal with the pain and hardship of growing up and maturing and that it's not a piece of cake and that if I fight through this and don't give up, that I'll be stronger and better for it. That helped.
But, then this morning, I had my devos and came across something that causes me to think that this anxiety could be a form of spiritual attack. I'd never thought of that before. The book is authored by John and Stasi Eldridge. Stasi writes in relation to dizzy spells, but I immediately thought of anxiety.
"About eleven years ago, John brought home a book by Neil Anderson. I think it was The Bondage Breaker. John had begun to encounter spiritual warfare issues in some of the folks he was counseling and wanted to learn a little more about it. Curious, I opened the book and began to read some of the case histories Dr. Anderson writes about. One in particular caught my attention. He described a woman who was often dizzy. The feeling of dizziness would frequently come upon her and throw her off balance both physically and spirutally. Huh, I though. I get dizzy a lot too. I mentioned this to John, and he was totally surprised. He never knew this about me. It was something I had lived with or under for years, but it never occurred to me to tell him about it. To me, it was normal.
It's amaxing was we will live with because we think it's normal when it is not.
So we decided to perform an experiment. The next time a wave of dizziness came over me, I would command it in the name of Jesus to depart from me and see what happened. I didn't have to wait long. The next day I was busy with the activites of my daily life and suddenly, out of nowhere, I got hit with dizziness. I prayed and commanded the dizziness to leave in the authority of Jesus' name. And guess what? It left! Imediately. I was stunned. The next wave came later, and I prayed again. Again it left. Whoa! Something was going on here that was completely foreign to me. A whole new dimension of Christianity opened up for me. The dizziness was a form of spiritual attack. That whole Ephesians Passage about putting on the armor of God...he meant it. We would need it.
The dizzy spells (interesting phrase) did not cease quickly. In fact, they increased, both in number and intensity. I had to learn to stand and to keep standing, "resist him, standing firm in the faith," as Peter urged (1 Pet. 5:9). I had to learn in a new way to "not grow weary in doing good" (2 Thess. 3:13 NKJV), and to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17 NKJV). It was as if the assaulting spirit)s) didn't believe I would stand firm against them and so they kept trying.
I got hit a few weeks later with a wave of dizziness that knocked me off my feet. From the ground, I prayed again, commanding it to leave me in the name of Jesus Christ. It did. And I have never been assaulted by dizziness again. Something that I had lived with for decades is now gone, for good. Through the experience of standing firm against the attack of dizziness, God had begun to train my hands and my heart for battle."
So I'm thinking that I'm going to try a little experiment of my own. Granted, if a wave of anxiety hits me at work, I can't very well rebuke the spirit out loud (although in the neighborhood I work in it wouldn't be all that strange), but I can pray in my head for God's strength to get through it. But, if it hits any other time, I'm definitely going to rebuke it in Jesus' name.
I think I'm really going to like reading this chapter. It's entitled "Warrior Princesses". In the first section of the chapter, Stasi writes that "there's a mighty fierceness set in the hearts of women by God" and that "there is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with -- not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized honored, welcomed, and trained." I like that :)
dreamer
I mentioned my recent job at Super America. The first two days of training I was a little nervous, but it wasn't too bad. The third day of training, I started crying in the car when my mom dropped me off cuz I was so anxious. But, I went in and worked anyway. But then what was to be my second day of working at the location on 25th and Bloomington was a totally different story. By mid morning I was starting to feel really anxious and was crying. I prayed and prayed and it didn't seem to get any better. I was talking with my roommate and that wasn't helping any. I tried calling people and nobody answered their phones. I decided to call work and let them know I couldn't be there. However, I was in such a state that my roommate had to call for me. I was sobbing and starting to hyperventilate. It was not a pretty sight, let me tell you.
By the afternoon I was so frustrated with this anxiety that I was honestly thinking of suicide. I had left a message for a friend of mine that goes to my mom's church so she called back and we talked for a bit. She agreed that some of the anxiety could be due to all the changes that have been happening (moving twice, new job, being independent and away from my mom), but that I've also been taking huge steps towards growth in my walk with God (Celebrate Recovery, living with Christian women, regular devotions, being open about my struggles) and that Satan doesn't like that and will do everything he can to hinder that growth. I also had called my pastor earlier, but he wasn't home so I left a message. He called back and I told him that I was considering suicide and the option to not have to deal with this anxiety day in and day out and it being so bad that I couldn't function. He lovingly explained that suicide is an option that I should just banish from my mind. He also said that lots of people have to deal with the pain and hardship of growing up and maturing and that it's not a piece of cake and that if I fight through this and don't give up, that I'll be stronger and better for it. That helped.
But, then this morning, I had my devos and came across something that causes me to think that this anxiety could be a form of spiritual attack. I'd never thought of that before. The book is authored by John and Stasi Eldridge. Stasi writes in relation to dizzy spells, but I immediately thought of anxiety.
"About eleven years ago, John brought home a book by Neil Anderson. I think it was The Bondage Breaker. John had begun to encounter spiritual warfare issues in some of the folks he was counseling and wanted to learn a little more about it. Curious, I opened the book and began to read some of the case histories Dr. Anderson writes about. One in particular caught my attention. He described a woman who was often dizzy. The feeling of dizziness would frequently come upon her and throw her off balance both physically and spirutally. Huh, I though. I get dizzy a lot too. I mentioned this to John, and he was totally surprised. He never knew this about me. It was something I had lived with or under for years, but it never occurred to me to tell him about it. To me, it was normal.
It's amaxing was we will live with because we think it's normal when it is not.
So we decided to perform an experiment. The next time a wave of dizziness came over me, I would command it in the name of Jesus to depart from me and see what happened. I didn't have to wait long. The next day I was busy with the activites of my daily life and suddenly, out of nowhere, I got hit with dizziness. I prayed and commanded the dizziness to leave in the authority of Jesus' name. And guess what? It left! Imediately. I was stunned. The next wave came later, and I prayed again. Again it left. Whoa! Something was going on here that was completely foreign to me. A whole new dimension of Christianity opened up for me. The dizziness was a form of spiritual attack. That whole Ephesians Passage about putting on the armor of God...he meant it. We would need it.
The dizzy spells (interesting phrase) did not cease quickly. In fact, they increased, both in number and intensity. I had to learn to stand and to keep standing, "resist him, standing firm in the faith," as Peter urged (1 Pet. 5:9). I had to learn in a new way to "not grow weary in doing good" (2 Thess. 3:13 NKJV), and to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thess. 5:17 NKJV). It was as if the assaulting spirit)s) didn't believe I would stand firm against them and so they kept trying.
I got hit a few weeks later with a wave of dizziness that knocked me off my feet. From the ground, I prayed again, commanding it to leave me in the name of Jesus Christ. It did. And I have never been assaulted by dizziness again. Something that I had lived with for decades is now gone, for good. Through the experience of standing firm against the attack of dizziness, God had begun to train my hands and my heart for battle."
So I'm thinking that I'm going to try a little experiment of my own. Granted, if a wave of anxiety hits me at work, I can't very well rebuke the spirit out loud (although in the neighborhood I work in it wouldn't be all that strange), but I can pray in my head for God's strength to get through it. But, if it hits any other time, I'm definitely going to rebuke it in Jesus' name.
I think I'm really going to like reading this chapter. It's entitled "Warrior Princesses". In the first section of the chapter, Stasi writes that "there's a mighty fierceness set in the hearts of women by God" and that "there is something incredibly fierce in the heart of a woman that is to be contended with -- not dismissed, not disdained, but recognized honored, welcomed, and trained." I like that :)
dreamer
Monday, June 20, 2005
First official day
Today was my first day at the SuperAmerica on 25th and Bloomington. Three words....Bullet Proof Glass. One of my roommates isn't too cool with the fact that they have it (need it) there, but hey, what can ya do.
I was having a bit of anxiety for most of the day. I went shopping with my mom and bought work clothes and some tennis shoes. I'm on my feet for pretty much the whole 8 hours I'm at work so I needed better shoes (although my feet still hurt soooooooo bad right now). My mom said she'd drop me off at work and, when we got there, I started to cry. I didn't wanna work cuz of the anxiety I was feeling, but I wanted to be able to work. I HATE anxiety!!! But, it worked out for the most part.
I was originally scheduled for 4pm - 11pm, but was asked if I could come in at 3 instead. Of course I said it wouldn't be a problem. I didn't leave until about 1am. They usually have three people working second shift, but it was just me and a guy named Yonas. So, we had to wait until close to restock most of the stuff.
Oh, funny thing (well, depends on what one finds funny), within a couple hours of being there, Yonas had to close his bullet proof window and call security cuz some guy was being really beligerant to both of us. The guy left me alone for the most part after I told him it was my first day and I couldn't really do anything about his complaint. But...um...yeah.
Cool thing was that Yonas gave me a ride home. I grew up not far from there and I wonder if David (the asst. manager) is being a little dramatic when he describes how bad the neighborhood is, but I was still thankful for the ride. I wasn't really looking forward to walking six blocks at 1am and then waiting for a bus on Lake St. for who knows how long.
Anyway, I better leave it at that. I'm eating Ramen noodles and then I'm gonna go to bed.
If you could, pray for me that God takes away my anxiety, helps me keep a smile on my face when dealing with people, that I'd remember the stuff I'm being taught, and that He'd use me.
dreamer
I was having a bit of anxiety for most of the day. I went shopping with my mom and bought work clothes and some tennis shoes. I'm on my feet for pretty much the whole 8 hours I'm at work so I needed better shoes (although my feet still hurt soooooooo bad right now). My mom said she'd drop me off at work and, when we got there, I started to cry. I didn't wanna work cuz of the anxiety I was feeling, but I wanted to be able to work. I HATE anxiety!!! But, it worked out for the most part.
I was originally scheduled for 4pm - 11pm, but was asked if I could come in at 3 instead. Of course I said it wouldn't be a problem. I didn't leave until about 1am. They usually have three people working second shift, but it was just me and a guy named Yonas. So, we had to wait until close to restock most of the stuff.
Oh, funny thing (well, depends on what one finds funny), within a couple hours of being there, Yonas had to close his bullet proof window and call security cuz some guy was being really beligerant to both of us. The guy left me alone for the most part after I told him it was my first day and I couldn't really do anything about his complaint. But...um...yeah.
Cool thing was that Yonas gave me a ride home. I grew up not far from there and I wonder if David (the asst. manager) is being a little dramatic when he describes how bad the neighborhood is, but I was still thankful for the ride. I wasn't really looking forward to walking six blocks at 1am and then waiting for a bus on Lake St. for who knows how long.
Anyway, I better leave it at that. I'm eating Ramen noodles and then I'm gonna go to bed.
If you could, pray for me that God takes away my anxiety, helps me keep a smile on my face when dealing with people, that I'd remember the stuff I'm being taught, and that He'd use me.
dreamer
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Me = BORED!!!!!
Okay, so I am totally and unarguably bored outta my freakin' skull!!!
I got home from work at about 4:15 or so. One of my roommates had had a rough day so I let her vent and then asked some questions that I knew she knew the answer to, but my point was to get her to think about things that she might've been trying to avoid thinking about. I tried as best I could to comfort and encourage her, which is just fair since she listened to me rant and cry and vent last night and she comforted and encouraged me.
But my point...said roommate is now over at her parent's house and then she's going to a movie with a friend after that. Another roommate went camping and won't be back until Sunday night, and the last roommate is, as of yet, unaccounted for. I'm thinking she might be working 'til 8pm and I sent her a text message asking if that was the case, but I haven't heard back. My exact message to her was, "R u working til 8? Cuz i'm going nutso here by myself."
Ain't that the truth. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I drank two Monster energy drinks within the space of about a half hour or so. I washed dishes, I cleaned a bit, did some laundry, and played BloodRayne II for a while. I finally started pacing around the room, sitting at the computer to check email, paced a little more, and now I'm putting yet another post on here. I really want a cigarette if for no other reason than to calm me down a bit.
ARRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm done. I'm gonna go pace some more.
dreamer
I got home from work at about 4:15 or so. One of my roommates had had a rough day so I let her vent and then asked some questions that I knew she knew the answer to, but my point was to get her to think about things that she might've been trying to avoid thinking about. I tried as best I could to comfort and encourage her, which is just fair since she listened to me rant and cry and vent last night and she comforted and encouraged me.
But my point...said roommate is now over at her parent's house and then she's going to a movie with a friend after that. Another roommate went camping and won't be back until Sunday night, and the last roommate is, as of yet, unaccounted for. I'm thinking she might be working 'til 8pm and I sent her a text message asking if that was the case, but I haven't heard back. My exact message to her was, "R u working til 8? Cuz i'm going nutso here by myself."
Ain't that the truth. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I drank two Monster energy drinks within the space of about a half hour or so. I washed dishes, I cleaned a bit, did some laundry, and played BloodRayne II for a while. I finally started pacing around the room, sitting at the computer to check email, paced a little more, and now I'm putting yet another post on here. I really want a cigarette if for no other reason than to calm me down a bit.
ARRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
Okay, I'm done. I'm gonna go pace some more.
dreamer
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